Types of Ba''alei Teshuva

I want to start off this post saying that I hope noone finds this offensive. I have nothing against ba'alei teshuvas, as I, myself, was not raised frum. Also, I don't think one group or another is better or worse. These are just my observations.

Last night I was at a meeting for a women's group I belong to, and the subject of Ba'alei Teshuva came up. When I came home, I thought about the different types of ba'alei teshuva. I think there are three main types, and of these types, there are some differences between men and women.

1. Intellectual. Many people come to frumkeit through an intellectual approach. They are convinced either that HaShem must exist, therefore I must do mitzvot, or that if the Jews have survived for thousands of years by doing these mitzvot, there must be some basis in them, therefore, I should start doing mitzvot. These people enjoy the learning inherent in frum Judaism. They tend to go to yeshivas/seminaries. I would say at least 70% of the intellectual group are men. They are the types of men that Aish haTorah, Ohr Someyach, and Shapells are aiming for. They tend to become frum during or after college. The men tend to become RW Modern Orthodox or LW yeshivish. They are the men who spend many hours learning. They generally integrate very well into frum communities since they love to learn, are willing to put the effort into learning how to learn, and these things are obviously valued by the Orthodox communities. They may or may not dress the dress, although you won't be seeing most of these people hanging out in short and a t-shirt, they would not have a problem with wearing jeans on the weekend.

Women who are drawn to frumkeit for intellectual reasons sometimes have a harder time. They go to seminaries like Nishmat or Pardes. They want to learn seriously, and as they learn more, they sometimes become irritated that they can't have equal participation with men. Many of these women become very learned and I think tend to become LW MO or fewer RW MO. These are some of the women you might see leading women's Megilla-reading groups or agitating for women to be allowed to dance with the Torah on Simchas Torah. They genenrally will not wear a sheitel, instead opting for a hat, scarf, or snood, feeling that those hair coverings are more keeping with the spirit of halacha. They will dress modestly, but might not feel the need to wear stockings and will definately wear jean skirts.

2. Social. This group is the opposite of the intellectal group in Men vs. Women. I would say about 70% of this group is women. These are often the women that Aish haTorah attracts. They see Judaism as a beautiful way to live, to raise a family, to have a strong marraige. The Mitzvot have allowed Jews to create a beautiful society, survive for 1000s of years, therefore, HaShem exists and I want a family like this too and so I will keep mitzvot. The women go to seminaries like She'arim, Neve Yerushalayim, or Aish. They start dressing, talking, and acting frum asap. They want to get married as soon as they can so they can start their frum families. These women tend to be yeshivish (LW or RW) or some RW MO. They will be in sheitels, stockings, and no slits in their skirts. Many of these ladies join the "chumra of the month club."

Men who become frum for social reasons might learn for a while in a yeshiva, but many don't feel the need. They dress in the black hat, white shirt, black pants uniform. Because they haven't learned as much as the ffbs, they are likely to join the "chumra of the month clubs." They will usually find a rav and follow him blindly. These men tend to become RW UO. On the other hand, some men would rather join the kiddush club. They also are frum from social reasons and will end up LW MO.

For both men and women who fall into this category, their overarching goal is to blend into ffb society. They will not want to rock the boat and many feel the need to be frummer than everyone else. They tend to become frum young, in high school through NCSY, or in college through Aish or JAM.

3. Emotional. Many people, both men and women, become frum because they feel they are missing something in their lives. Maybe they had a hard childhood, or they are unemployed, or they are needing friends. They go to their local Chabad House (most of these people are attracted to Chabad) and they feel accepted and loved and decide they want to be like these nice people. They will start keeping kosher and Shabbat and will have a community. They are attracted to charismatic leaders (Chabad shluchim, the Rebbe, Shlomo Carlebach, Kabbalah Center (l'havdil)).

Some of these people actually become totally frum, generally some type of Chasidish, and become part of the mainstream community. But more will become partially observant while their spouse does not. These are people who may become frum very fast and then realize they didn't know what they were getting into. These people tend to be a little older for the most part, often they are already married with children. This can cause a lot of grief when one parent suddenly wants to become frum, while the other parent and children don't see the appeal, since they don't have the emotional connection.

4. Mixes. Obviously, many people are mixture of these groups. I think the most successfull ba'alei teshuvas (meaning people who stay with it, are happy, secure, and blend into the overal Orthodox community) are a little of all of these.

So, what do you guys think? Am I crazy? Let me know.