Out of Town

Week Three

2011-02-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

OK. Last week went ok, but we had a few hiccups. I am going to try putting my meal plan online before the fact. My challenge over the past couple weeks is that I have been making really yummy foods that are not the best for my waistline.

This week, and for the next 3 weeks, I am going to try to be really strict with my diet and see if I can lose 10lbs.

Today, I am going to have shakshouka for dinner, with no pita, but with Israeli salad.

Tuesday: Grilled chicken breast and salad

Wednesday: veggie burgers with cucumber salad and seaweed

Thursday: we are going out to dinner to celebrate our two weeks of meals and clean house.

For breakfast/lunch I am going to have a chobani yogurt and two hard boiled eggs. I am also going to get my 12 cups of water.

The real challenge is planning the kids meals.

Monday: French toast

Tuesday: tortellini

Wednesday: veggie burgers or cheese with pasta (their choice)

Thursday: Out to dinner (so probably hotdogs :))

Cleaning has been going pretty well. We got rid of about 5 boxes of donation stuff from my bedroom and the playroom. We also threw away about 4 bags of garbage. We are going to try to get rid of a few more boxes of stuff this week. Already, the play room is easier to manage since my almost 5 year old and my 8 year old each have a big bag to keep their stuff in, there is one box for Lego, one box for Baby Toys, and basket for play food, and a box for dress up. Also, there are a couple small bins for miscellaneous stuff like dreidels and stuffed animals. Anything else that doesn't fit in those categories and doesn't have a home is going away. Much easier to stay organized and neat when you don't have junk taking up a lot of room.

Next room to tackle is the office room. There are too many papers and other stuff that we don't need that is taking up space in the closet and the drawers. I am going to get to that room this week.

Also, the cleaning lady didn't come at all last week. We kept everything reasonably neat, but it will be nice to have the house really clean when I come home from work today.

Week One over

2011-01-31T18:39:00.000-08:00

So Week One is over. Shabbos clean up was hard, even though we didn't eat at home at all. We went out for Friday night last minute, so I brought my Persian Meatballs that I had already made along with some basmati rice and sushi. I have been making Thai inspired Sushi, with fake crab, green onions, cucumber, avacado, cilantro, sriracha sauce, and sometime crushed peanuts...Yummy.

For lunch I brought taco salad. It was delicious as well. We did the Shabbos clean up on Sunday morning since my 8 year old had avos u'bonim (father and son learning) on Saturday night, with a hotdog party and a magic show.

Sunday my mother in law came in, so for lunch we had pizza made from the leftover pizza dough from Wednesday. Then we went shopping at Target, Costco, King Soopers and Sprouts. We spent about $110.00. Of course, we forgot to buy bananas and milk (oops :)) which we got today (Monday).

Sunday night we had pad thai, I love this recipe, it is very easy. I don't use butter, and usually I don't even use chicken, just cook a couple extra eggs. I garnish with crushed peanuts, cilantro, limes, and green onions. I don't use the exact measurements for the sauce in this recipe, either, just the proportions. I make it non-spicy for my kids (who request this almost once a week). I either make a second batch for my husband and me, or I just add sriracha and/or dried chile peppers at the end. Either way it is yummy.

Tonight we had waffles for breakfast, since we had no milk..They were OK, but not great. I am going to have to find a better recipe. After work, I made soft pretzels, The kids went swimming with grandma, and these were a great snack before gymnastics. They were yummy, the kids enjoyed them, and it is certainly cheaper than buying the ready made ones. The texture wasn't perfect, and I might try a different recipe next time. Overall, though, they were not bad.

For dinner we had shakshouka, and Israeli dish of tomatos, peppers, onions, etc. cooked together and then eggs are poached in the mixture. I served it with laffa bread. This is for the adults, the kids had hotdogs.

For dinner

Day 4

2011-01-27T08:40:00.000-08:00

Last night was so much fun. Our friends came over with their kids and his parents. We made pizzas and everyone had a great time. I made 4 big pizzas and a little one for my 4 year old who doesn't like sauce :). I still had dough left over (enough for about 2 more pizzas) that I saved for another time.

Our friends brought a big Caesar salad, some toppings (green pepper, red onions and green olives) and fruit for dessert. We were all very stuffed and there was enough left over for the kids to take for lunch today.

Since starting the meal planning, my days have gone so much easier. I have a plan of what to do when we get home.

Even though it was a big night last night, with a big mess, I got the kitchen 90% clean last night and the dining room about 70% done, so not too bad. Tonight when I get home I am going to start cooking for Shabbos (meatballs, rice, green beans, kugel). We might end up with guests, so we'll see...the menu might change. And we got invited out for Shabbos lunch, so I am going to make a big taco salad (romaine lettuce, 2 cans of corn, a can of black beans, a can of pinto beans, cherry tomatos, a bunch of green onions, black olives, some cilantro and/or parsley, and grilled chicken. Then I serve avocado and jalapeños on the side. Yummy and very filling.

We are almost done with our first week. A nice plus is also going to be that Friday afternoon cleanup is going to be pretty easy.

My only worry is how to deal with Saturday night clean up. It is hard for me to be motivated after Shabbos to clean up right away, but if I don't, Sunday will be terrible. I guess I just need to get it done right away.

Day 3

2011-01-26T09:47:00.000-08:00

Last night was great! When I got home, I put up the dough for the laffa and made the falafel filling. Then we went to the grocery store to get some french fries.

The cost of the meal was as follows:

1 lb organic garbanzo beans: 1.65

bunch of cilantro

bunch of parsley

2 bunches of green onions: total 2.00

1 cucumber: 1.00

4 tomatoes: 1.32

laffa (flour, yeast, etc) .50

incidental spices, lemon juice, garlic, olive oil: .50

techina: 1.00

French Fries (about 1/3 of a bag): .85

can of pickles: 1.50

A little chummus: .50

Total: 9.75

Included in this price I made about 50 falafel balls (so plenty of leftovers) 12 laffas (similarly lots of leftovers), techina, zhug, and Israeli Salad. It was delicious, my year old and baby loved it, my 4 year old ate laffa, chummus, Israeli salad, Fries and pickles, and my 2 year old ate one falafel ball and some pickles and a little laffa.

Tonight we are having guests over for dinner, so we will have the leftover falafel and pizza. I will be making my own dough, so that will cost about .50, then I expect to use a can of olives (1.50), about 2 lbs of cheese (8.99), sauce that is also home made (about .75) and some various produce for toppings. We will be feeding 6 adults and 6 kids. Our guests are bringing some green olives for the pizza as well as a green salad.

The sauce looks really simple and it is, but it is delicious and better than any canned I have found.

The cleaning went well yesterday as well. The kids did their parts and I did mine, so when we went to bed, everything looked nice and clean.

I also took a sewing class last night, so now I can use my machine and I hemmed 2 pairs of pants for my 8 year old that have been waiting for a few months :) Yay!

Day 2

2011-01-25T08:40:00.000-08:00

OK. So yesterday the cleaning lady came, so there wasn't too much cleaning to do last night, just some books for the kids to put away.

We had chili and baked potatoes for dinner last night. 1 lb of ground beef, an onion, about a cup of raw kidney beans, a box of chili seasoning and 4 potatoes. I would say it cost about $8.50, not the cheapest, but not too expensive.

Last night I also made bagels. They aren't too hard. I used this recipe. It was really yummy and tasted just a good as a bagel store, and better than the bagels at the grocery store. Best of all, a dozen costs about 50 cents! Yay.

Tonight we are having falafel and laffa. The Falafel recipe I am using is from The Book of Jewish Food by Claudia Roden. It is a fantastic book, the sephardic recipes are amazing. I also made the bagels out of this book, and while they weren't quite a good as the recipe above, they were still delish.

I have never had luck with falafel, but hopefully tonight is my lucky night. I am also making laffa, which is like big pita bread. My dear friend Barak gave me this recipe, and it is a hit whenever I make it. It has become my signature food for all the potlucks we go to.

Starting up the Blog Again

2011-01-24T10:03:00.000-08:00

OK. I haven't written on the blog for about 3 years. But we are starting a new plan in my house, and I want to keep a record of it. I would not expect anyone to read this, but it is good for me to write down my thoughts and plans.

I have been reading some great blogs over the past few years. In particular, Oceans of Joy, A Mother in Israel and her companion blog Cooking Manager, and Orthonomics have inspired me to try to get organized, cut my food budget, and get my family on a better path.

With that in mind, we are starting a food prep and cleaning plan that will hopefully cut our food bills and keep our house neat and organized. I have committed to cleaning up for 15 minutes a day the main rooms of our house (living room, dining room, kitchen). I will do this with my 4 year old and 2 year old between the times that we get home from school at 1 pm and when my 8 year old gets home at 3:45.

Also, we have created a menu for the week. This is, for me, the key to being both organized and frugal. I am going to try to stay out of the grocery store for the rest of the week, except for some fruit that I still need to buy for the week. But on Sunday we went shopping to 3 stores, spent about $45, and that should be all we need to spend this week. Of course, I am fully stocked up on meat and cheese.

Last night we had chicken fried rice with veggies. I cooked 2 cups of asian rice. I fried one onion, added my leftover shabbos chicken (a wing, a breast and a thigh), a bag of frozen peas and 1/2 a bag of frozen corn. It was yummy, filled everyone up (except for my 4 year old who had yogurt instead) and cost only a few dollars to make.

The rest of the week is:

Monday: Meat chili with rice

Tuesday: Falafel with laffa and Israeli salad

Wednesday: Homemade pizza

Thursday: Noodles and cheese

Friday (Shabbos): some type of fish, chicken soup with lots of veggies, meatballs, veggie kugel, rice, and green beans

Shabbos day: chummus, coleslaw, turkish salad, cholent, taco salad with chicken, kugel

If we keep up the plan for 2 weeks ( the cleaning and the meals) we are going to go out to a restaurant to celebrate. We haven't eaten out since Sukkos when we were visiting family in LA. Before that, I think the last time we ate at a restaurant was when my baby was 2 months old and he is 9 1/2 months now... My kids are really excited for the reward, so hopefully it will keep us all motivated to continue.

Book Meme

2007-07-02T08:41:00.001-07:00

I found this on Chasida's blog and I thought it was cute and I would do it.

She found it on Bibilophiles Anonymous.

Look at the list of books below:Bold the ones you’ve read. Mark in blue the ones you want to read. Cross out the ones that you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole (or use red coloring). Finally, italicize the ones you've never heard of.

1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown) loved it!
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen) really, really loved it!
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) school
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell) I liked it when I was young
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown) better than DaVinci, I think
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) I have this on my book shelf waiting to read it.
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte) An AWESOME book
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger) pretty good, but I don't get all the hype
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) this was my first favorite book when I was young
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) I really loved this too.
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte) Not my favorite, but interesting and worth reading
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand) I really enjoyed this.
34. 1984 (Orwell) read it in school...
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant) I little nutty, but an entertaining read. Rashi's daughters was better for this genre
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini) so sad.
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible parts at least :)
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck) school, not my fave.
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens) hate....
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) I liked it
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger) Great, but I cried throughout
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding) Kinda lame, but better than the movie.
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence
80. Charlotte's Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck) yuck.
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen) My least favorite Austen
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding) I didn't like it when I was in school, but I might have a different perspective now.
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd) I was supposed to read this for book club :)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) Entertaining for young kids
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

I tag Barak and Esther. I would tag SephardiLady, but this doesn't really fit her blog....

Tznius meme

2007-04-24T08:21:00.000-07:00

Sephardi Lady tagged me with a tznius meme started by Mom in Israel. Since I haven't blogged in about 100 years, I figured this would be a good way to get back into it. I am sure no one has looked over here for a while, since really I haven't updated anything in forever.

Before I start the meme, I just wanted to give everyone an update on the kids. Sima started walking for real yesterday. She had been taking 3 or 4 steps for about 2 weeks, but now she can walk across a room. It is really cute and exciting. Aryeh is really getting big as well. He can now catch line drives and pop flies. It is pretty unbelievable.

Onto the meme:

For married women, do you dress by the same standards as you did when you got married?
I think I might be a little stricter. I don't remember when I stopped wearing slits, it might have been before I was married or after, I am not sure. Apart from that, about the same. I still wear most of the same clothes :)
Also for married women, do you and your husband conflict about this issue?
We do conflict a little. He thinks I could be a little more lenient, especially since we live out of town now. On our side of town, it is really acceptable to not wear stockings, but I am not comfortable with that now.
Have your standards changed from when you were growing up, and why?
Well, since I wasn't raised frum, yes they have changed a bit, although I was never a pants wearer, I did wear shorter skirts.
Do you often feel uncomfortable when you are in the company of a group keeping higher or lower standards than you?
I think I keep the highest level of tznius common in my community (ie. collar bone always covered, all hair covered, stockings, no slits in the skirts), but I don't always look as put together as others. I am not a teacher, so when I drop my kids at school, they always look very professional, and I look kind of shlubby, especially as I have started to walk to work (about 2.5 miles) and I need to wear running shoes.
If you have ever suddenly changed your standard of dress, did people treat you differently or make approving/disapproving remarks? I never suddenly changed.
How accepting is your community of women who "deviate" from the generally accepted mode of dress? On our side of town (the more modern side) women can dress however they want with very little comment. Most of the women here wear pants and do not cover their hair. I have often joked that I could go out in a bikini, and I don't think anyone would care. In the more yeshivish neighborhood, the community is much less accepting of this behavior, and I think it is big reason why the two sides do not get along better.
If you have a daughter, has tzniut become an issue yet? Not yet, she is just 1 :)
Any other comments you care to share on the topic. In the modern world, I feel that tznius is really not addressed much. I think a lot of the ladies in my community would dress a little differently if they were taught otherwise. There are a lot of baalei tshuva here, who became baalei tshuva here, and don't know any other community. I wouldn't say they should be instructed to keep a yeshivish version of tzius, but a little longer sleeves wouldn't hurt either. I makes me a little uncomfortable being around frum women in tank tops, b/c I think they are uncomfortable with me seeing them....

B'tzelem Elokim and Kiddush Hashem

2006-11-07T08:09:00.000-08:00

Two weeks have gone by now in our middos program. The first midda that was covered was B'tzelem elokim. Basically, it stressed that we should behave like mentchen, because we are created in the image of Hashem. Aryeh really enjoys it when I point out how he is following the midda of the week.

Last Friday, the packet was about Kiddush Hashem. It pointed out that we can do a kiddush Hashem in front of Jews and non-Jews. That when someone knows we are Jewish, and we act nicely, we make Hashem proud. Yesterday, we went to the Science museum in town, and Aryeh was so proud when I told him about the kiddush Hashem he made there. It seems like the program is doing good stuff.

I think it would be easier to see the effects on an older child, but I am happy to be teaching my son to be a good person now when he is young.

Teaching Good Middos

2006-10-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

Last night, our school held the kick-off for the new middos program they are running, called Project D.E.R.E.C.H. The goal is to get the entire school, from pre-K to 8th, involved...including the parents. Every week a note will come home about the mitzvah of the week. This week is tzelem elokim. In the future there will be lessons on kavod av v'em, respecting teachers, etc. The kids learn about specific mitzvos associated with the commandment/midda and parents need to "catch" their kids doing the mitzvah.

The best part about this, is that it will involve not only kodesh teachers, but the chol teachers as well. As many of the chol teachers are not religious and some not jewish, this is a great development. In the past, the kids at this school, as will many yeshivish schools, acted more than a little chutzpa to their non-religious or non-jewish teachers. This program is designed to combat that, and to teach the kids that they can learn good middos from non-jews and non-frum jews just like they can from their morahs and rebbes.

The speech last night was by R' Zvi Kaminetsky and was excellent, although it went a little late. The main point of his speech was that parents are teachers, and are, in fact, the most important teachers. In order to be able to correct a child, rebuke a child, punish a child, you first need to have a strong loving relationship. The child needs to know that you will always love him, and there is nothing they can do to make you stop loving them. But, that some behaviors are not appropriate. He said that the most powerful words can be "Kleins don't do that" or "we don't do that in the Schwartz family." Teach the kids pride in their family.

I really am hopeful for this program. The Rabbi said we should not refer to it as a project, b/c projects can easily be given up. We should think of this as a career change. Every parent in the room will become a teacher to his or her children.

One last point, I was so happy to see a great turn out. There are probably about 80 families in our school, and I would say 75% of them were represented by at least one parent. It gives me a lot of hope that we will see some better middos from our kids.

Grown up Cliques?

2006-10-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

In the city we live in, there are between 400 and 450 shomer shabbos families, divided between three communities, We live in the largest area, with about 250 families. There are five Orthodox shuls here (2 chabad, 2 standard MO and one "traditional" that does not have a mechitza but has a second mechitza minyan). It is a friendly, welcoming place and people, at least in our part of town get along ok.

There is, however, one problem in our community: Cliques. I am not talking about groups of friends. Everyone has their friends that they are closer to and I have not problem with that. I would hope that everyone would have a core group of friends. The problem I see is that people are getting mean to each other. There are dirty looks going around shul, people don't talk to other people. I feel like there is a lot of judging going on about what you are wearing, both in terms of fashion and in terms of what is on your head.

We have a diverse community. There are women here who cover their hair all the time and some who never do. There are women who wear pants and tank tops and some who always wear stockings. There are men in kippa sruga, velvet and even a few streimels. The diversity of thought, dress, and custom is one of the things that we really loved about this community. But I am afraid that is starting to change.

The old timers here (people who came here 10 or more years ago) feel that the newbies are trying to change their community and make it too frum. The people who are more traditionally observant are trying to make policies about kashrut and other things that are excluding people who were traditionally the leaders of the community. But I don't' think that is the whole story. I think the cliquiness is from a different place. I don't feel like it is new vs. old or frum vs. modern. But I do think it is hurting our community. It makes me sad to go to shul....

First day of school

2006-08-30T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today was my son's first day of pre-school. Even though he has had a babysitter since he was young, and was in a program last year, it was still a special day and a milestone. He was so excited about his new school clothes, backpack, supplies and teacher. He really had a great time.

His teacher made today a short day, and the parents came with the kids, so it was low stress and tons of fun for them. The classroom looks great, there are a bunch of centers and everything looks really organized. I am really impressed and I think this is going to be a great year.

Here is a picture of him from this morning....

You could tell which moms had kids in school for the first time by the presence of cameras. I guess by number seven, the first day is not quite as exciting and momentous :)

Here is another picture from this morning in the classroom

Of course, school is not cheap (it is a private school afterall), but I think it is going to be worth it. He has a qualified teacher who has a plan for how and what to teach them, with realistic expectations of 4 year olds. No, they won't be memorized sefer Bereshis, but they will be learning about good middos, mitzvos, torah, tzedakah, and ahavas yisroel.

I'll keep everyone updated!

Sheitels and Tznius

2006-08-21T09:11:00.000-07:00

Last week I got a new sheitel. I haven't really bought a nice(ish) one since I got married, and that is almost five years. I had never felt really comfortable in the one I originally bought but since I spent the money (only about $300, I got it from a gmach in Israel), I thought I ought to use it.

The new one I bought is also from Israel. I bought it from Michal Wigs. It is really beautiful and was quite affordable. The lady I bought it from, who lives in NJ, was nothing but nice, was really easy to talk to, and answered all my questions honestly. I would certainly recommend working with this company again.

The problem is, I feel that the sheitel is TOO nice. It is much longer than I am accostomed to, and I will probably cut it eventually. It is lighter color of blond than my other. I feel like I am not wearing a sheitel when I look in the mirror. My brother in law said it makes me look 18.

I asked my husband if he thought it was tzenuah, and he is less than no help. He thinks all sheitels should be assur. He thinks the sephardim have it right, that it defeats the purpose of the mitzvah, and that it is gross to wear someone else's hair.

Now, to be clear, this is not a bleach blond sheitel, but it is light, very similar to how my hair was before I was married. And it isn't super long, but it does go a few inches past my shoulder.

What do you all think about sheitels? Is it tzenua to wear a long one? Should I just cut it already?

The Nine Days

2006-07-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

The halachos of the nine days are fairly clear:

1. You shouldn't buy new things or say shehecheanu.
2. You shouldn't decorate your home or make unnecessary repairs
3. You can't have a wedding or listen to live music
4. No haircuts, bathing for pleasure, etc.
5. No eating meat or drinking wine
6. No laundering or wearing fresh clothing.

In addition to these basics, some people, like my husband, take it to a different level. For those of you who know my husband in person, you know he is not one to be machmir or to take on chumras. However, when it comes to mourning for the Bais Hamikdash, and the current state of Am Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael, he takes on many additional restrictions.

He does not engage in any types of group activities that are solely for fun. For instance, today, some friends wanted to go get ice cream at a shop. That is something he does not feel comfortable doing. We often have Sunday night dinners with another family, he also did not attend that tonight (although I did go with the kids). In general, he does not make me or anyone else follow his restrictions.

We do not attend baseball games or similar activities during the three weeks in general, so for sure during the nine days we do not go.

Until he really, really needs a shower, he does not bathe (except for erev Shabbos, of course), and then in cold water.

Lately, speaking to other people in our community, he was suprised that he seems to be one of the few who take on additional restrictions. Today, the shul league held softball games. People were surprised that my husband didn't want to participate in softball during the nine days. Is this something that only he is very careful with? Is he normal? In light of what is going on in Eretz Yisrael should we personlize our mourning?

It is very possible to follow the letter of the law and forget about the spirit. I hope everyone has a very meaningful week and a mournful Tisha B'av. May we be zoche to see the coming of moshiach and the rebuilding of the Bais haMikdash speedily and in our days.

A Different Framework

2006-07-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

This past Shabbos morning, Aryeh (who is almost 4) came into my room. He started whining about needing something for his head. Since he was in his pajamas, and didn't have a kippa on, I told him maybe he should put one on. He gets even more irritated, and says, no, I need something for my head. I looked at him carefully, and I see he has a blanket over his shoulders, sort of like a cape. That is when it dawned on me what he wanted.

After Shabbos, I made him "something for his head." The next morning, he put it on, and I took this picture.

What he wanted for his head were tefillin. The blanket he was wearing was not a cape, it was his tallis. He wanted to daven like his abba. He wants to use a shtender like him, use his siddur, and he really wants tefillin. We have told him, that is a special present he will get when he becomes bar mitzvah.

I was so proud of him when I realized what he was begging for.

Happy 4th of July

2006-07-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone has a great day and remembers how nice America is for Jews....

3 months old!

2006-06-13T13:41:00.000-07:00

Well, Sima was 3 months old on Sunday, which is really unbelievable to me. She has gotten so much bigger. She is not at all a little newborn now. Here is a picture of my little cutie...

Having a girl is so much fun. I can't get enough of the bows and ribbons....:)

Online Jewish Book Club

2006-06-09T08:15:00.000-07:00

I would like to start an online bookclub. Each month could be hosted at a different blog. If anyone in interested, leave a note and we can work out the details.

Mean Girls and Parents

2006-06-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

About 2 years ago, I read the book that inspired the movie Mean Girls. That book, Queen Bees and Wannabees offers amazing insights on the ways that girls relate to each other, to boys, and to their parents. I think it should be required reading for all parents of girls, teachers, and principals. Even very young girls can be so mean to each other. They start the cliquiness young and can be very cruel. Whether it is not inviting another girl to their birthday party, ignoring a girl in the halls, or not letting someone sit with them at lunch, all these things can have a massive affect on a girl's self-esteem.

Even more importantly, I hope that frum people don't think that it doesn't happen in our communities. It most certainly does, and in some ways, can feel worse. As the author, Rosiland Weisman, points out, it can feel even more of a betrayal when someone religious is doing the excluding.

I have worked in a frum girl's high school, and I have seen how cliquy they can be. There is immense snobbery about clothes, parents, money...all the same things that non-Jewish or non-religious girls can be so mean about. This ties into another serious problem among frum girls: eating disorders. We are seriously deluding ourselves if we think that frum girls don't have these problems. In both the Modern Orthodox and Yeshivish communities, there is enormous pressure to be thin. And it only gets worse as girls get into dating, where one of the first question a boy or his parents will ask the shadchan is what size does she wear.

Well, Ms. Weisman has come out with another book, and this one is arguably even more important. Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads discusses the dynamics between parents that can have a big impact on our children. As a parent of young children, I am only starting to feel it myself, but I can see it among my peers or even at the park among strangers. When parents, especially mothers, feel they have to compete against everyone, seem more together, skinnier, more organized, and more popular, everyone loses. So many people revert back to their high school personae when they beocme parents.

Mothers have a huge pressure to be, or at least appear perfect. Of course, there is no such thing as a perfect mother, but mothers who work outside of the house feel that the stay-at-home moms look down on them and vice versa. And, unfortunately, it is true. There is so much judging going on between mothers. Although some of the examples she gives in her book do not hold true in the frum community, the underlying themes are definately there. There are for sure Queen Bees in my son's school, just like there are outcasts. Go to a PTA event at any frum school, and you will easily see who the moms are that have the power. And for the most part, they will be the moms with the perfect sheitel, with 5 kids under 9 who are in a size 4 for the bris of their latest child.

And you will also see the outcasts, the moms who are recent ba'alei teshuvas, or divorced, or overweight, or gerim, or poor in a wealthy community. Some of these people desperately want to be accepted, and that is probably the saddest part. And no matter what they do, how much they volunteer, they can't break into the inner circle.

I would like all parents (mothers and fathers), PTA presidents, principals and teachers to read this book. It could really help them understand the dynamics in their lives and schools and hopefully try to fix them.

Baseball, Softball, and Us

2006-06-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

As everyone knows, our family loves baseball. My son recently received a wooden bat from his Grandpa, and has taken to sleeping with it. One of the greatest things about having a backyard, is that Aryeh and my husband play baseball almost everyday. And in the winter, they played in the basement.

Yesterday, we went to the first softball game of the season. My husband plays in a shul league, made up of Reform, Conservative and Orthodox Synagogues. He was part of a similar league in our old community, but here the feel is very different. Lots of families were out to watch the game. Some of our friends brought a little barbeque and grilled hotdogs and hamburgers. Other families brought pizza or other take out. All the little kids were playing baseball, the moms were watching the kids and the dads and catching up. My husband's team actually won (by a lot!) which was a real suprise to him. He has never in his life been on anything but the worst teams. In high school, his team won only 1 or 2 games in 3 years! The shul team he used to be on was horrible, with 1/2 the members of the team unable to hit, throw, or catch a ball.

Even people who were not playing on the team came out to watch. Despite all the fighting in this community, softball manages to bring everyone together.

Types of Ba''alei Teshuva

2006-05-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

I want to start off this post saying that I hope noone finds this offensive. I have nothing against ba'alei teshuvas, as I, myself, was not raised frum. Also, I don't think one group or another is better or worse. These are just my observations.

Last night I was at a meeting for a women's group I belong to, and the subject of Ba'alei Teshuva came up. When I came home, I thought about the different types of ba'alei teshuva. I think there are three main types, and of these types, there are some differences between men and women.

1. Intellectual. Many people come to frumkeit through an intellectual approach. They are convinced either that HaShem must exist, therefore I must do mitzvot, or that if the Jews have survived for thousands of years by doing these mitzvot, there must be some basis in them, therefore, I should start doing mitzvot. These people enjoy the learning inherent in frum Judaism. They tend to go to yeshivas/seminaries. I would say at least 70% of the intellectual group are men. They are the types of men that Aish haTorah, Ohr Someyach, and Shapells are aiming for. They tend to become frum during or after college. The men tend to become RW Modern Orthodox or LW yeshivish. They are the men who spend many hours learning. They generally integrate very well into frum communities since they love to learn, are willing to put the effort into learning how to learn, and these things are obviously valued by the Orthodox communities. They may or may not dress the dress, although you won't be seeing most of these people hanging out in short and a t-shirt, they would not have a problem with wearing jeans on the weekend.

Women who are drawn to frumkeit for intellectual reasons sometimes have a harder time. They go to seminaries like Nishmat or Pardes. They want to learn seriously, and as they learn more, they sometimes become irritated that they can't have equal participation with men. Many of these women become very learned and I think tend to become LW MO or fewer RW MO. These are some of the women you might see leading women's Megilla-reading groups or agitating for women to be allowed to dance with the Torah on Simchas Torah. They genenrally will not wear a sheitel, instead opting for a hat, scarf, or snood, feeling that those hair coverings are more keeping with the spirit of halacha. They will dress modestly, but might not feel the need to wear stockings and will definately wear jean skirts.

2. Social. This group is the opposite of the intellectal group in Men vs. Women. I would say about 70% of this group is women. These are often the women that Aish haTorah attracts. They see Judaism as a beautiful way to live, to raise a family, to have a strong marraige. The Mitzvot have allowed Jews to create a beautiful society, survive for 1000s of years, therefore, HaShem exists and I want a family like this too and so I will keep mitzvot. The women go to seminaries like She'arim, Neve Yerushalayim, or Aish. They start dressing, talking, and acting frum asap. They want to get married as soon as they can so they can start their frum families. These women tend to be yeshivish (LW or RW) or some RW MO. They will be in sheitels, stockings, and no slits in their skirts. Many of these ladies join the "chumra of the month club."

Men who become frum for social reasons might learn for a while in a yeshiva, but many don't feel the need. They dress in the black hat, white shirt, black pants uniform. Because they haven't learned as much as the ffbs, they are likely to join the "chumra of the month clubs." They will usually find a rav and follow him blindly. These men tend to become RW UO. On the other hand, some men would rather join the kiddush club. They also are frum from social reasons and will end up LW MO.

For both men and women who fall into this category, their overarching goal is to blend into ffb society. They will not want to rock the boat and many feel the need to be frummer than everyone else. They tend to become frum young, in high school through NCSY, or in college through Aish or JAM.

3. Emotional. Many people, both men and women, become frum because they feel they are missing something in their lives. Maybe they had a hard childhood, or they are unemployed, or they are needing friends. They go to their local Chabad House (most of these people are attracted to Chabad) and they feel accepted and loved and decide they want to be like these nice people. They will start keeping kosher and Shabbat and will have a community. They are attracted to charismatic leaders (Chabad shluchim, the Rebbe, Shlomo Carlebach, Kabbalah Center (l'havdil)).

Some of these people actually become totally frum, generally some type of Chasidish, and become part of the mainstream community. But more will become partially observant while their spouse does not. These are people who may become frum very fast and then realize they didn't know what they were getting into. These people tend to be a little older for the most part, often they are already married with children. This can cause a lot of grief when one parent suddenly wants to become frum, while the other parent and children don't see the appeal, since they don't have the emotional connection.

4. Mixes. Obviously, many people are mixture of these groups. I think the most successfull ba'alei teshuvas (meaning people who stay with it, are happy, secure, and blend into the overal Orthodox community) are a little of all of these.

So, what do you guys think? Am I crazy? Let me know.

Lag B'Omer Mini-Meme

2006-05-17T10:02:00.000-07:00

This is the first meme I've been tagged with. Thanks JH. We are supposed to list the first song we listened to on Lag B'Omer. I am sad to admit it, but I haven't listened to any music yet. I am just not a big music person and I don't miss it that much. I have, of course, listened to Uncle Moishy and to the Marvelous Middos Machine, but that does NOT count as music. I think I will go remedy this right now and listen to some Bob Dylan.

I tag Esther and Cool Yiddishe Mama.

Sports Radio

2006-05-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

When I married my husband, I did not enjoy sports. I didn't mind playing sports, but I definately didn't watch or listen to professional sports. And I definately didn't want to talk about sports. I used to listen to general talk radio. I liked Dennis Prager, Michael Medved, Larry Elder (sometimes) and even Sean Hannity (I know, pathetic). Then we moved, and I had to find new radio stations.

I can still listen to Dennis Prager, and occassionally I still do. Michael Medved is on here at 12 midnight, so that is out. Larry Elder isn't played in this market and he gets on my nerves anyway. And don't even get me started about Sean Hannity. I really think he just reads, verbatim, the emails and faxes he gets from the White House. He does not have an original thought, ever.

My husband, throughout our marriage, has listened to Sports Talk. I used to hate it. Who cares about all these teams, and the people who would call in, ugh. Just freaking out about some crazy college basketball team. Lately, however, I have been caught in the the grips of sports talk. You still can't get me to listen to local sports talk. Those shows are dominated by callers who are obsessed with a team and just want to talk about it ad infinitem. But ESPN Radio, is actually entertaining.

The show that pulled me in was "The Herd". It is on from 8 to 11 Pacific time. If you want to get your wife/girlfriend/daughter into Sports Radio, have her listen to this show. At least 1/2 the time, he isn't talking about sports. He will talk about pop culture, the differences between men and women, all sorts of craziness. Last week, he was talking about how his wife was out of town, so he could eat whatever he wanted for dinner. Count Chocula cereal and Hi-C. He had a segement last year about how all men who drive corvettes have moustaches.

Once I started listening to the Herd, I started to know more about sports (maybe way too much, but that is another question). Once you know all the issues, it makes it way more fun to listen to people fight about it. So now I end up listening to Dan Patrick and sometimes even Game Night. I have officially become a freak....It has come to the point that I would rather listen to sports radio than Dennis Prager!

This is rather embarassing to me, but my husband loves it. He wants to tell all his friends. He thinks it is great and he tells me that all his friends will think I am the best wife ever. The problem is that their wives will think I am a freak :).

Tuition Crisis

2006-05-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Everywhere in the J-bloggisphere, you can read about the current tuition crisis, and I would like to add my two cents. As residents of a smaller community, I think our issues may be slightly different, but still close enough to resonate even with those who are living in big cities.

My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about how we can help the schools in our community. Our oldest son will be starting school next fall, and the school he will be attending in notorious for not paying teachers on time and not having enough money to run. It is also a school that caters to large families who are working in chinuch and/or kollel and don't have a lot of money.

That being said, I think there needs to be some changes. I am outlining a proposal and I would love comments on what to keep and what to change. I am not an expert, just a parent, but I sincerely want to help the school get to a good place financially.

1. I would like the school to make the books open. I think they should send some sort of financial statement to the parents each year. I don't think parents should be told specific salaries, but I would like to see a statement with expenses, broken down by salaries (administrative, teaching (kodesh), teaching (chol), janitorial), facility upkeep (repair, electric bills, etc), supplies. And income broken down by source (tuition, dinner, outside fundraising, raffle, federation, etc.)

2. Create an application process that doesn't embarrass anyone, but makes people accountable for how much they pay. On the application for admission to the school (not a scholarship application) parents should self-report how much they think they can afford for school. If tuition costs $8000 per year, any parent who reports they can pay $5000 or above per student should be believed and allowed to pay that amount. A parent who reports they can pay some amount less than that, should be given a scholarship application. Obviously, when deciding how much need based scholarship money can be given to a parent, income has to be taken into consideration. However, I think it should be up to the parent to provide whatever documentation they chose to make their case as to how much they can afford. I don't think schoools should demand income tax returns, although they can be used by the parents to make their case.

3. The scholarship applications, along with any evidence or additional information the parents chose to supply, should be reviewed by a scholarship committee that should be made up of an administrator (probably the pricipal), a teacher, a board member, and a parent. The people selected to be on this committee should be chosen based on their sensitivity and outstanding middos and inclusion on this committee should not be public knowledge.

4. The scholarship committee should determine the amount of tuition the parent should pay, with no parent paying less than $2500 per student. That is $250 per month per child, certainly much less expensive than a babysitter.

5. Payment of tuition, whatever the total should be made either in one payment at the beginning of the year, or monthly by post-dated checks, or by credit card that is kept on file and charged monthly.

6. If people cannot pay the minimum tuition, they should be given a chance to make up the difference by offering their services to the school, either in the office, as a teacher's aide, doing custodial work, or maintenance work. The debt to the school could be paid off by working for the school at a rate of $10 per hour.

7. Teachers at the school should also pay the minimum tuition for their children, and be given the option of having that tuition deducted from their salary pre-tax. If a teacher cannot afford the tuition for their children, they also should be given the opportunity to make up the difference in service to the school. Since they have a valueable skill, I would ask them to tutor children at a rate of $20 per hour. This tutoring could take place before school, during lunch, or afterschool, but not, obviously, during limudei chol.

8. Anyone who is going to work to make up the tuition cost must sign up for the hours and jobs they will be doing in advance. For example, in order to work for September's tuition, a parent must sign up for the work they will be doing by August 15th. For October's tuition, they must sign up by Sept 15th. This will allow the school to save money on administrative and custodial staff.

Although the school may not take in signficantly more money this way, the school will improve. The students will have access to free tutoring, the parents will be more invested in the school. Of course, anyone who doesn't want to volunteer would be welcome to ask their parents/grandparents/relatives for the money, the school would not be in the business of asking about the financial situtation of any distant relatives.

I know that some people will think I am being too harsh and that many people will be unable to afford to pay 2500 per student when some people have 5 or more kids in school, but I don't see how the school will be able to remain open if we aren't paying tuition.

My Cutie Pie

2006-05-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

Ok. Here is a picture of Sima from last week. She is getting really big. Yesterday we weighed her, and she is almost 11 lbs! I can't beleive it. Aryeh was always really skinny as a baby, so this is pretty exciting for me, to have a little chubster.

It has been too long since I put a picture up of her, so here it is.

Finding a Middle Path

2006-05-03T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today is Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel's Independance Day. In our community, there are two orthodox day schools, one that is affiliated with Torah U'Mesorah and one that proclaims itself Modern Zionist. As you can probably guess, these schools react completely differently to Yom HaAtzmaut. At the former, they pretend that today does not exist. They don't mention it, they don't do anything special, they act as though there is not even such a day as Israel Independance Day. At the latter school, they act as though this is the most important day of the year. They are having a special assembly. They are having a dinner tonight for the community. The kids have been practicing for a performance they are going to give tonight. You can bet they said Hallel this morning, and all the kids will be singing Hatikva today, probably more than once.

So which of these approaches do I take? Neither. We are Zionists. We beleive that the state of Israel is a huge bracha for Am Israel. The state is what keeps us safe. We all know, in the backs of our minds, that if need be, we can go to Israel. There can never be another Holocaust. At least in theory. We may disagree with the government. We may think they are somewhat spineless. However, we can't deny that the mere existance of the state makes all of us in galut a little safer.

I wish that the two schools could find a middle ground that was a little more sane. The right wing school should teach the kids about Israel today, about the founding, about the UN vote, about the war for Indpendance. They don't have to say Hallel, they certainly shouldn't make today on par with a yom tov from the Torah, but they should set aside a day to talk about Israel.

The Modern school, on the other hand, neeeds to remember that Yom HaAtzmaut is not THE most important holdiay of the year. They spent as much energy, if not more, preparing for this day thean for Pesach. A child could easily be confused that Zionism is Judaism, or is at lesat the equivilent. If they are going to make an assembly for this holiday, they should certainly make one for the holdiays given to us by Hashem in the Torah.

I know there are objections to having a big public celebration today, during the Omer. And it is also true that there were and are many non-religious Jews running the state who are hostile toward frum people. But that doesn't mean the yeshivish/charedi community should pretend that today does not exist. And I know also that Eretz Yisrael is very important to frum Jews, but that doesn't mean there is nothing equal or even more imporant. Torah needs to be emphasised as well.

Historical Fiction

2006-05-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Rashi's Daughters, Book 1: Joheved. It was enjoyable and a quick read. It was an interesting enough story and was, I think, fairly accurate. I have been wanting to find out more about how Jews lived in the middle ages and this book certainly covered that topic. I don't know how accurate all the little details are, but it seems to me that the author did a lot of research before she wrote this book.

However, I do have a complaint. Why do women who write historical fiction feel the need to include so many love scenes. Sometimes, these scenes make sense, but in this book, I thought they were totally gratuitous.

The author also clearly wanted to show her mastery of Talmud, and included a lot of quotes to show her proficiency. A large part of the plot was Rashi teaching his daughters Gemara, so some quoting was necessary, but at certain points, it felt like the story was simply being used to allow her to show her knowledge.

Overall, it was a fun book. Although the inclusion of so many love scenes reminded me a little of the Red Tent, this was not nearly as audatious as that book. It was respectful toward the characters and entertaining. A good Shabbos read.

Barry Bonds

2006-04-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

I recently read the new book about Barry Bonds and the Balco scandal called Game of Shadows : Barry Bonds, BALCO, and the Steroids Scandal that Rocked Professional Sports. It is really a very convicing documentation of the steriods scandal that is currently rocking baseball. It goes into the drug use of several track and field athletes as well as a slew of other professional athletes. For those of you who don't pay much attention to baseball, there has been increasing steriod use over the past 10 or so years. Jose Canseco recently "wrote" a book about his own steroid use and how he introduced steriods to many Major League Baseball players. Just by looking at some of these players, it is clear they are doing something to become 250 masses of muscles. These days, some baseball players look more like football players.

Until the last couple years, baseball had no steroid policy. However, the culture of the game, was so stay long and lean. Weight lifting was shunned because it was thought that too many muscules would slow down your swing. That all changed when Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa broke Roger Maris's homerun record. Both those men are giant. They both look like they could be linebackers. And they proved that being big and strong can produce homeruns and homruns are what the fans want to see. So MLB ignored the charges of steroid use.

So why should anyone care about this? Well, first of all, it is cheating. And it isn't just cheating against other players and teams now. It is cheating the whole history of baseball. Unlike other sports (like track and field or swimming) where records are made and broken all the time, baseball records endure. Babe Ruth held the homerun record for upwards of 30 years, as did Roger Maris. Since 1998, the home run record has been broken 3 times.

It is my opinoin that any players being caught using illegal, performance-enhancing substances should be banned from baseball. I think that steroids are worse for baseball that anything Pete Rose ever did, and he was banned for life. I think all the records of those who use these types of drugs should at least have an asterisk, if not be totally expunged. I hope MLB cleans up this problems.

But a more personal reason to care is for the kids who love baseball. My son plays baseball with his father almost every day. They go to the park on Shabbos to play with the other neighborhood kids. At least in our city, baseball is widely loved and played by young boys. I hate to see them looking up to baseball players who are cheating. I do not expect athletes to be exceptional human beings. Trust me, I am aware that most professional baseball players should not be a role model for any child in their personal lives. However, they should be looked up to as athletes. They should be expected to follow the rules of the game and if they cheat, they need to be publicly punished.

I know I have been writing a lot about baseball. I was never really a fan until about 4 years ago, after I got married to my husband who is a big fan. Now my son loves baseball so much too, so I had to learn to like it. It is a great sport, and it is really fun to be able to go to a game and not break the bank. Basketball and football games are both too expensive Baseball still offers an opportunity to take a family out for the day, at the last minute, for a small expense. Try getting football tickets the day of a game. The reason for this, of course, is that there are hundreds of baseball games in the season, and only a dozen football games. It is logical, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't afford football.

I really hope Major League Baseball can clean up the sport and keep it something I am happy to let my son enjoy.

The Greatest Invention Ever

2006-04-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

As I am typing, my lovely daughter is asleep. She is a little older than 6 weeks now and is a wonderful baby (b'li ayin hara). One of the things I love about her is that she loves to cuddle. She wants to be held all the time, and I love to hold her, so it is a match made in heaven. But how can I work, cook, or do anything else if she wants to be held constantly? Well, the answer is The Moby Wrap. It is a piece of fabric that is about 20 feet long that you can wrap around your body and fit the baby into it in a variety of ways. So far, Sima really likes the newborn hug hold
and occasionally the regular hug hold. But the greatest thing about this, is she can be held like she wants, I can hold her, like I want, but I can still have 2 free hands. She falls to sleep almost instantly when I put her in it and I can even nurse her in it (theoretically).

If anyone has friends who are expecting, it is the greatest gift ever. I received mine as a gift, and I can't tell you how grateful I am to the person who sent it. I also have a Baby Bjorn, which is great as well, but not as snuggly as the wrap. The Baby Bjorn is fine for the mall, but the wrap is way better for around the house. Also, when it is cold out, she stays protected and warm in the wrap, since I can keep her completely covered and she is pressed against my body, which really keeps her warm. In the sun it is great also because the fabric is light enough that she and I do not roast, but I can keep her head out of the sun. I think my husband will prefer the Baby Bjorn however, especially in public. The wrap makes me look a little like an Indian villager, a look I think is charming, but might be a little embarrassing for a man....

For those of you who don't want to click through to the site, here is what the wrap looks like on. (NOTE: this is NOT me...)

Last week's reading

2006-04-24T10:33:00.000-07:00

Since I just had a baby, I actually have been reading more books than usual. How is this possible, some ask. Well, when I am nursing, I generally read a book. So that means I have about 20 minutes at a time, about 10 times a day, to read. If you think about it, that is a ton of reading a person can get done. So last week, I read three new books. Two were books about economics, and one was fiction.

The first book I read was called Strapped. The main arguement of the book is that today's 20 and 30-somethings are unfairly disadvantaged from the start of their adult lives. Because of student loan debt and lower salaries available to those without a college degree, there is no way for our generation to get ahead. We start out in the red. To some extent, I agree with these points. Some people pay hundreds of dollars a month in student loans. Add on top of that exorbitant housing costs if you live in a major city, and it can be hard to get by on the kind of paycheck one usually receives from a first job. Most people, however, don't stay at the bottom of the salary ladder forever. Although this book makes it sound like people are drowning in debt into their mid-thirties, I don't think that is the general experience of my generation, nor can it be blamed on student debt.

There are, of course, many people in debt from my generation. Some of those people have had a lot of bad luck, spent time unemployed or underemployed and still had the fixed costs assosiated with housing, transportation, and school loans. Add to that any sort of emergency (medical especially) and you can easily see how the debt could spiral out of control. However, there is another group of my contemporaries who are also drowning in debt, but entirely through the fault of themselves. These people make average or above average incomes, but feel they either need to appear wealthy, or feel entitled to a wealtlhy lifestyle while they are still in their twenties. They finance these marvelous lifestyles primarily with credit cards. It is hard for me to feel much pity for these people. The author, however, seems to beleive these type of people are mythical; that they don't actually exist.

What are the solutions to these problems. Well, according to the author, the government needs to take care of these problems. The government should finance college completely for lower income people, and almost entirely for the middle class. Also, the author would like the government to provide high quality day care for all children who has two working parents (or for single parents).

When I picked up this book, I was expecting some solution to the massive debt problem in our society. However, I was dissappointed that the only suggestions were that the government provide MORE services and spend MORE tax dollars.

In my opinion, the best way to help combat this problem would be to create a tax on consumption, rather than income. That way, people who feel the need to keep up with the Jones can do so, and help finance the government. Those who would like to save for the future would be rewarded for doing so by paying less in taxes. Do you remember the first time you got a paycheck and saw how much came out in taxes? I do, and I was shocked. Imagine how much more income you would have, if the payroll taxes were not removed.

This leads into the next book I read called The Number. This book was really interesting. It is about how to figure out how much to need to retire and what to do to get there. It was really aimed at readers in their late 40s and 50s, but I found it compelling. When planning for retirement, the author points out, times have changed. First of all, many people who are now in their 50s or younger could easily live into their 90s. We need to plan on our money lasting a lot longer than it used to. Also, pension plans have gone the way of the dinosaurs. So our savings have to cover a larger percentage of our retirements. This book has no worksheets or other quick ways to figure out how much you will need, but it will help you think about it. I think retirement planning is easy to put off, especially if you are in your 20s and have a family and you feel like to barely make it from paycheck to paycheck, but it is so important to start early. If you put off saving until you are in your 40s or 50s, the task can seem overwhelming and in some cases will be too late. Unless you plan on working into your 80s, out of necessity, you can put off thinking about your savings. But if you want to have options at the end of your life, you need to think about it at the beginning of your life.

Baseball

2006-04-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we went to our first baseball game of the season. We got pretty good seats, but then we found a friend who gave us even better seats, right behind home plate on the first level. Aryeh loves baseball and was so excited to be at a game. We went early and got an autograph from a player and even the mascot signed Aryeh's glove. This is one of the best things about living out of town. In big cities, going to a baseball game is super expensive. Between tickets and parking, you are looking at spending at least $50 for a family like ours to go to a game, and to get bad seats. Here, parking was free and we were able to walk to the stadium and tickets were $6 each. Really, it was amazing.

Although we moved here for financial reasons, we have found that living in a smaller city really makes a big difference in quality of life apart from being able to own a house. Going to any public places is way more fun. The zoo, the museums around town, baseball games, parks: all of these places are more convenient to get to and less expensive and less crowded than in big cities. Even on a Sunday, the zoo is generally easy to get around.

For anyone with small children I say: Get out of New York and L.A. True, you give up some conveniences when you leave a big city (kosher dining is not amazing here), but you really gain so much more.

Here is a picture of Aryeh in the new shirt his uncle gave him. It is supposed to be 80 degrees today, so it is the first time this year Aryeh has been able to wear shorts. Yipee....summer is almost here.

My Little Major Leager

2006-04-05T15:11:00.000-07:00

Well, baseball season started this week, but in our house, it is always baseball season. Today Aryeh got to play with the 8th graders at his school during their afternoon recess. Aryeh is a little more than 3 1/2 and usually 13 year olds have very little interest in letting little kids invade their games, but Aryeh is like a mascot to them. They love him and let him join in their games a lot. Today, he hit a "home run" and all the boys gathered around him cheering like he won the world series.

Sima Today

2006-04-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

Here is a new picture of Sima that I took today. She was born on March 11, 2006 (which was also my sister's 26th birthday), so today she is 25 days old. She looks a lot like her brother Aryeh did at this age. Unfortunately, I don't have any digital pictures of Aryeh when he was 3 weeks old, so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Sima is really a great baby. She has been sleeping well and eating well. She was 6lbs. 13oz. at birth and at her last check up she was 7lbs 10.5 oz. Aryeh gained weight much more slowly, so I can really feel what a blessing it is that she is eating so well.

Aryeh has been an amazing big brother. He loves to help Mommy and Abba, and he also loves to kiss Sima. I'm really proud of him. He has been adjusting to all the changes like a champ. Of course, he still likes to come and sleep in Mommy's bed in the middle of the night, so between the two of them, I can be a little squished, but I'm not complaining! I feel very lucky to be blessed with two babies who love to snuggle....

Welcome

2006-04-05T09:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, and now that Sima has been born, I have something to write about.....I will probably also write about other issues, but for now, I am planning to focus on Aryeh and Sima and post pictures so everyone can see how cute they are :). Since we are so far away from our friends and family (and I am sooooo bad at sending pictures) this will be a good way to keep everyone up to date.

So, here is the first picture I am posting of Sima and Aryeh.